If You Don’t Like Each Other, Don’t Get Married (or stay in the relationship)
Marriage is one of the biggest commitments a person can make. It’s a decision that shapes your daily life, your emotional wellbeing, and often your future family. Yet far too many people walk into marriage hoping things will “work themselves out” or believing that love alone will be enough to fix deep incompatibilities. The hard truth is this: if you don’t genuinely like each other, don’t get married. Or prepare to spend your life in misery.
Relationships Are a Choice
Every day, couples choose how they treat one another. They choose whether to listen, to respect, to support, and to grow together. But the foundation has to be there first: you have to like each other. Attraction or chemistry might spark the relationship, but liking your partner, their personality, values, and the way they move through the world, is what sustains it.
You can’t force a long-term partnership with someone you don’t enjoy being around. That’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It doesn’t matter how hard you push; the fit just isn’t right.
Listen to the People Who Care About You
Sometimes love can blind us to reality. But often, the people around us - family, close friends, mentors - can see what we can’t. If everyone around you is saying, “This is a bad idea,” it’s worth pausing. While the choice is ultimately yours, outside perspectives can highlight red flags you may be ignoring.
The Cost of Ignoring Compatibility
Couples who don’t like each other may:
Constantly argue over small things.
Criticize more than they compliment.
Feel drained instead of energized by time together.
Struggle with resentment that only grows over time.
Living like this isn’t just stressful, it can rob both partners of joy and prevent them from living a fulfilled life.
Choosing Wisely
Marriage doesn’t have to mean misery. But it does require honesty. Ask yourself:
Do I genuinely enjoy spending time with this person?
Do we share core values, or are we constantly clashing?
Do I respect them, and do they respect me?
Am I choosing this relationship out of love and alignment, or out of pressure and fear?
The answers matter. Choosing to ignore them doesn’t just impact you; it impacts your partner, and potentially your future family.
A healthy marriage starts with two people who truly like each other and are committed to building a life together. If that foundation isn’t there, no amount of pushing, compromising, or “hoping it will change” will make it work.
Relationships are a choice. Choose wisely. If you don’t like each other, don’t get married. It’s far better to wait for the right fit than to spend a lifetime trying to force one.
✨ If you find yourself questioning your relationship, counseling can help you gain clarity before making such an important commitment. Reach out today to explore whether your relationship is truly built for the future—or if you’re trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.